One long day, one dinner table, and a meltdown

It’s already 7:45 pm, and I still have 45 minutes to reach home.

Boy! I am exhausted, and my phone rings.

“Mamma, how far are you?!” my 12-year-old asks.

“Will reach home by 8:30, love,” I say with a yawn.

“Okay, come fast. I am waiting for dinner.”

I shut my eyes for a quick power nap, but a work call interrupts me, then another. Before I realise it, I am home.

My son welcomes me with a bear hug, and in an instant, my exhaustion disappears.

By evening, my patience disappears

“I am famished. Let’s eat.”

My son goes, “What’s for dinner?” And the moment I lift the lid, he says, “I don’t want to eat this. Can you make me something else?”

This question, along with a few others, is my trigger point. And I go on a 10-minute rant about how he should be considerate, blah blah blah…

He retaliates, “Do you think it’s only you who had a long day? I went to school, football, and tutors too. I too am exhausted!”

While the argument rages, I open the freezer, put some kebabs in the air fryer, and we are ready for dinner.

As we sit down to eat, we catch up on each other’s day as if nothing happened 15 minutes ago.

Life is good!

Is it me, him, or our hormones?

These episodes happen regularly these days. More frequently than I would have imagined. When I look back, I wonder why I can’t be more patient like before. What am I doing wrong as a parent that he is suddenly so rude and disobedient?

Then I remind myself, it’s not me. It’s not my son either. It’s our hormones!

What can you expect when you put together a peri-menopausal mom and a pre-teen son? We are, after all, a dynamic duo powered by hormones, mood swings, and very strong opinions.

When your son finds his voice

I am currently in this hot-and-cold relationship with my son. Luckily, my husband is just an audience to these mood swings. He dares not utter a word against either of us because it takes us just a few seconds to form a united front and gang up against him.

This is indeed a new normal. It has become the most popular topic of discussion at every get-together. We exchange notes and tips, and share similar anecdotes. Basically, we are all comparing war stories!

I have attended parenting webinars, tried hacks from renowned astrologers on Instagram, and called close friends to calm myself down, only to realize I am not alone. They're sailing in the same boat.

Every morning, I tell myself, Today I want to be more patient, soft-spoken, and calm.

But somehow, by evening, my patience has left the building.

May be he is not rude just growing up

I genuinely want to end this cycle of nagging, arguments, and meltdowns. But it has become an ongoing tussle with myself.

Is it my mood swings because of perimenopause? Is it his hormones? Or is it what actor Arshad Warsi rightly pointed out?

“We like our children as long as they don’t have an opinion. The moment they have a brain and opinion, we start hating them. Because now they are not listening to you.”

And honestly, that hit home.

Maybe my son isn’t becoming rude or disobedient.

Maybe he's simply discovered he has a voice, and unfortunately for me, he's also discovered how to use it!

Sunayana Baruah is a Marketing and Partnership consultant