Cancer. The word itself can evoke anxiety and dread, particularly when you have lost two family members within a few months of their diagnosis. So when my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I was filled with panic.
An unexpected diagnosis, and the fear that followed
Thankfully, a lab technician in a small town had noticed something unusual in a routine chest X-ray. It could easily have been missed, but his doubts prompted him to investigate further. A local doctor confirmed his suspicions and tried to allay our fears by telling us the cancer appeared to be at an early stage. Unwilling to take any chances, I brought my mother to Gurgaon just a couple of days later.
There, I had identified a surgeon at one of the largest private hospitals. She was warm and reassuring, and she tried to ease our concerns. After repeating a few tests, she recommended immediate surgery. Two days later, my mother was operated on.
Surgery went smoothly. The real ordeal was yet to begin
Everything proceeded like clockwork. The hospital staff managed the process professionally, and the doctor made herself accessible throughout, which was immensely reassuring. Within a week, it was all done. I heaved a sigh of relief.
Little did I realise that the real trauma for the patient and caregivers was yet to begin. This time, it wasn't the disease itself but the ambiguity surrounding post-surgery oncology treatment. Conflicting medical opinions and concerns about some doctors' and hospitals' ethics turned the experience into a nightmare.
An expensive test, and conflicting advice on chemotherapy
After the surgery, the hospital referred us to one of its leading oncologists. He was courteous and, after spending a few minutes with us, recommended a test to determine whether my mother needed chemotherapy or could avoid it. Given her frail health, I was apprehensive about chemotherapy.
The test was expensive, but we followed the advice. A few days later, the results indicated that she needed chemotherapy. The hospital then assigned another doctor to continue her treatment, and he recommended a high dose.
I wanted a second opinion, so I consulted an oncologist in Srinagar. He felt that chemotherapy wasn't necessary and that the test we had undergone was unnecessary. Two contradictory opinions left us confused.
Searching for a second opinion only deepened the confusion
I then decided to visit a specialised government hospital in Delhi. After considerable difficulty, I managed to secure an appointment. We waited almost the entire day, only to receive barely five minutes of consultation. The doctor was indifferent and dismissive, hardly listening to what we had to say. The experience left me heartbroken.
When medical advice began to feel like a sales pitch
Our next stop was another large hospital in Gurgaon, recommended by a neighbour who also put in a word with a senior doctor. This consultation was particularly distressing. The doctor seemed more like a salesman than a medical professional. He gave us time, but kept pushing for a very high dose of chemotherapy, at a cost considerably higher than anything recommended so far. The aggressive sales pitch made us uncomfortable. The dilemma had left us not only confused but deeply disturbed and anxious.
Another surgery? My mother had reached her breaking point
Still unwilling to give up, I secured an appointment with a very senior surgeon in Delhi. He was Kashmiri and known to my extended family, so I hoped he would give us the right advice.
He, too, told us the test had been unnecessary, a waste of money, and that chemotherapy wasn't needed. However, he claimed the surgery had not been performed properly and that my mother would need another operation immediately. He then asked his assistant to fill out the paperwork and urged us to pay the fee and book the surgery.
By this point, my mother was in tears and refused to undergo another operation. Trying to find the right advice had become exhausting and distressing. I, too, was beginning to feel helpless.
A doctor who listened, reassured, and put our fears to rest
On the way back, I almost instinctively decided to try Max Hospital in Saket. We walked in and found Dr Nitesh Rohatgi seeing patients in the OPD. No appointments were available, but we decided to wait and try our luck as walk-ins. A couple of hours later, we saw him.
As we entered his room, he greeted my mother with a smile. In a calm, soft-spoken voice, he tried to reassure her. He gently explained that, in his opinion, the test was unnecessary, chemotherapy wasn't essential, and the surgery posed no problem. However, given the treatment protocol and the test results, he recommended a very mild course of chemotherapy over six months.
My mother experienced only minor side effects during those six months. The treatment also cost us a fraction of what the other doctors had recommended.
Ten years later, gratitude remains — but so does the trauma
It has been ten years since her surgery. Even today, she thinks of Dr. Rohatgi as an angel. Every time I go home, she wants me to bring him walnuts and almonds.
I consider myself fortunate to have found a doctor we could trust, someone who seemed to care about his patient above everything else.
But the trauma of going through that process still gives me nightmares.
Jaibeer Ahmad works in an advertising agency in Gurgaon. His mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016. In this note, he shares his experience and challenges he faced in getting the right treatment for her. His mother is now cancer-free.